Sometime ago I encountered this idea of Transactional Analysis and Life Positions. I don't remember the entirety of this concept, as it was definitely more advanced and complicated than what I'm going to write about today.
But one of the things I remember were the four different "states" of acceptance:
- I'm not okay, you're not okay
- I'm okay, you're not okay
- I'm not okay, you're okay
- I'm okay, you're okay
These "states" basically determine how we approach everyone (including ourselves), and how much we're willing to accept people (including us) just as they are. What strikes me about them is how simple the whole concept is to understand, but how at the same time it is carrying so much real wisdom.
I've been trying to observe which states I myself and all the people around me are in. I started seeing firsthand how approaching life with the "someone's not okay" mindset is dangerous. Whenever we're thinking we're not enough, or that people around us are like that, or both, reality starts to crumble. We go into panic mode, because something's not okay. This, in my humble opinion, is what causes so much anxiety, hatred, misunderstanding, stress.
Only by realizing that we're all f-ing okay, and that everyone, including yourself, deserves respect on the basis of being a human being, can we live a full life.