Today I came across this magnificent quote:
Pain that is not transformed is transferred
This is something I've encountered many, many times during the past couple of years. There have been many moments of pain. Of disappointment, disbelief, bleeding. As with (I think) most of us. Sometimes, things just get hard, no matter if this is caused by us, other humans, or some unpredictable outside things.
Pain is a symptom. It's a signal our body uses to show us that something is wrong; this applies both to physical pain, and emotional pain of all sorts. It represents an energy, a force. While it may be currently severely negative, it's stil a force that can be steered in a meaningful way.
Change usually occurs after hardship. We can see this all throughout history; French Revolution, Civil Rights, EU, just to name a few. Same applies to personal change; a low point is the best place to jump up from. This is how pain can be transformed. Instead of being left to burn through our psyche, letting it out and fueling the energy where it's needed.
When that doesn't happen it's going to a) burn inside, and b) transmit itself to other people. Simply, no matter how hard we try, we're going to be worse to other people. Spewing hate, showing no respect, or, at the very least, disapproving constructively.
Pain is like gas; it can power an engine, but it can also burn it down.