A few months ago I wrote that pain that is not transformed is transferred. A simple rule; unless you use the energy carried with the pain to do something else, you will transfer it in a negative way onto someone else.
These days, when so many painful things are happening all around us, I think it's more important than ever to learn how to transform pain. It doesn't always work, of course. But, it's worth giving it a shot every single time.
- I know, it's not easy to rationalize and deduct while dealing with pain. But, try for at least a minute to see things from a different perspective. What caused the pain? Is that something I control? Is the pain caused by that thing or my reaction to it? Is the pain attributed to a specific person?
- Project an alternate reality. Ask yourself this one question: if the pain wasn't here, what I would be feeling? Again, hard to predict exactly, but all that matters is a simple projection. How would things looked without this one thing?
- Seek a solution. Combine the answers from the previous two questions and deduct where to go next. Put that energy into it. Transform it into what you'd be feeling if the pain wasn't there in the first place. Or, you can transform it into something that is an answer, not necessarily the answer, to the cause of your pain. Or, (my favorite way) just turn it into something positive, something that brings you and those around you pure joy.
Letting it sit there and slowly break you apart is the worst one can do. Because no one is capable of withholding all of that, the pain will spill out. Leading to further damage.
Also, remember; it's harder to transform pain on your own. Do it with support from someone else. It'll be much easier.
Sculpt, not spill.